Tuesday, May 29, 2012

June 2nd 2012, Just Another Weekend Now

I just remembered I was supposed to get married this weekend.  And now my brain kind of hurts.

But I should be okay, I know I’d be miserable but it’s still one of the weirdest feelings I’ve ever experienced.  But I’m trying to focus on the good things I have going for me right now.  That’s a must.

Friday, May 25, 2012

My Special Family

Okay, to start off, I got this email from my step mom at work today.  At first I didn’t even think about it being at all strange because that’s just how I was raised but then I remembered a quote from my father at dinner the other night “Tina, did I tell you about the steam roller I bought?  It weighs 3,000 pounds!  I got it just to kill moles!” and I realized how truly hickish my family is.  Let me explain that he had that “kid going to Disneyland for the first time” look on his face.  It was kind of priceless.  I forget sometimes that these sort of things might not be an everyday normality for other people.  But I embrace it.  I have some damn good stories, mostly I owe my father for all of them.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Hate is Such a Strong Word

I hate today, I hate how my brain works and what I need and want and can't have and how it effects me.

I want to be stupidly happy again but I don't think it's in the cards for me.

I feel like I'm shutting down and having to block out everything I used to embrace.  I suppose I am kind of changing who I am to be doing what I am.  That's probably not right and probably something I should look at as a serious problem. But instead I'm living life out of foolishness and trying to ignore everything.  I should fix that.

But I won't.

"I can't get out of what I'm into with you"

Thank you Grizzly Bear.