Finally It's Been a Year

So much has happened in the last few weeks!  Anniversary is Friday, I can't wait!  I've had the hardest time not giving the man his gifts. 

Some new development.  He's moving in with me. The man is moving in with me.  yikes.  I'm not freaking out necessarily, but there's definitely some "Holy crap this is happening" going on.  It's mostly situational which is okay, not ideal, but it's fine. And it's temporary at this point, but I suppose we'll see what happens.  Should be interesting but I welcome the change, for him and myself.  Things have been great anyways so hopefully it'll just make it better.

In other news. I've been trying to convince him to buy us an anniversary turtle. I don't see a problem with it... I wish I could find a picture but the idea is having a turtle to eat breakfast with. This is what I'm trying to persuade him with.

Think it'll work?

Reading Material

I am SUPER in need of some good reading material.  Luckily TheBloggess is starting book #2 but I'd really like to read something before 2014 rolls around...jus' sayin'.

Weird fact about me, the happier I am, the less inclined I am to write...which totally sucks because then my blogs are ridiculously skewed from my real life.  According to this, I'm always stressed out and going through crazy emotions and pissed off at the world, etc.  But I assure you that's not really the case.  I can admit (right now anyways) I have some pretty kick ass stuff in my life.  It's great when it's good.  Some people don't have that, and I wish I could hang onto that feeling more often.  Content for what I have, and who I have... But it often slips away as I fall into my hole every so often, but at least I can still find it sometimes.  When I do find it, I have weeks and months where I am annoyingly appreciative with what I have.  "I'm so happy to have you." messages, "I think you're fantastic." emails and I get super stupid cuddly.  He deals with it though.

Point is, I'm happy right now, it's great, and should be inspiring but for some reason, all my writing energy goes into keeping me happy I guess.
_______
Headed up north this weekend, hopefully I'll have some stories and pictures to share.  I'll just set it up here, last year during this same trip, The Man's fam and I came up with "Science Infection"  and "Penis Butter"...yummmm.  Lets not forget the "Anal Jamboree" either.

I will actually explain this quick.  When/if you go camping, or end up at an RV park, look at the names of the RVs...then put "Anal" in front and there you have it - the Anal Jamboree, Anal Cougar, Anal Bounder.

Oh my god I found it right away!

 

Enjoy ;)

What I've Been Up To.

Getting creeped on during our disc gold double date.

Drives at sundown - last night, blew me away.

Part of our harvest

Another small part of harvest

Dungeons and Dragons! - Projector hung from the ceiling, my boyfriend is THE ultimate dork.

 

 

And then, I just want this, real bad.

Just Something to Make Your Day Better.

Two just really funny groups of things. Worth it. Promise. If this doesn't make you want to look, nothing will.

 

 

This

That

No Joke that's all I have.  It's Friday and I'd love to go home. :)

Bacon

This is from last month but I never got around to posting it. My man accessory’s birthday was last month and this is what I made him. 

Bacon Candy

 Maple Bacon Long john

Hazelnut Bacon Cupcakes (don't compare, mine look like crap)

 

If you're into bacon at all...go here for recipes.  Yum

 

On top of that, I got him the dorkiest gifts I could find.  Dungeons and Dragons figurines, and a way overpriced (collector’s item style) disc golf disc, plus I took him to a Beirut concert, which was just…awesome.

 

If you're wondering why bacon?

This

 

 

 

 

This is why.

Conversations With Erik

An email from my roommate/bestie that I got this morning that cheered me up some.  Unfortunately it'll apparently take more than great friends to fix this thing I'm in.  But I'm so very glad I have him.

Hey, look at me! Being all businessy, sending an email.

And you know what I just did?

I just made you a paint picture based off of that starting sentence. Note that I did not finish until the paint picture was done. I'm not brushed up on how to use Paint (if you catch my meaning). I don't know if I'm cut out for this kind of work, as the painting itself is sheer crop, it certainly wouldn't place in the free-form selection.

K, no more bad paint puns.

I hope you have a good day!
I also hope you have a coworker as cool as Businessy.

 

And the paint picture you ask?  Titled "The Accounts Are all Loched Up."

 

Dragon...

My co-worker emailed me “Dude, the day is draggin’. “

So….I made her this.

 

A Little Bit of Paint

Something I worked on today for one of our lenders here at the bank.

It's Friday...this is what I do on Fridays.

Revealing

Here’s just a couple things that has been going on with me.  I can’t keep it in right now, I’m too stressed out but I’ll start with some good things.

First off, I’m really into D&D.  Judge me if you will.  I’m a nerd like none other but it’s one of those things that’s unlike anything else and is a fantastic waste of time. I’m currently involved in two campaigns.  One that’s starting now and one that’s continued from last winter.  This reminds me I have a post from priva-blog that makes me laugh.  Remind me to post that.  Anyways, I have already spent probably around 6 hours (possibly considerably more now that I think about it) trying to create my character for my upcoming campaign, and that’s just plain ridiculous.  Am I going to stop spending lots of time doing this?  Hell no, worth it.  Just a little crazy when I look at it in terms of other things I could have been doing, things that would advance my life goals and such like that.  But I have to look at it as improving my quality of life in terms of fun times (definitely not health considering how much drinking and lack of sleep goes on).  I guess I think that’s okay, and it’s friend bonding time and improves your creativity.  So there, I have justified wasting hours and hours of my time.  Good enough for me.

On a note that is productive, and also a reason I don’t feel so bad about D&D time, I have taken up the Ukulele and Concertina Accordion.  I mentioned this before I believe, but they ended up both happening at the same time. I’m okay with that.  Tuesdays I have Uke lessons at Schmitt music in Edina on lunch break, with a guy who is quite possibly younger than me.  Then Thursdays on lunch I drive to Burnsville to take lessons with the sweetest old lady - Helmi, who teaches Accordion.  She is also going to hook me up with a small piano accordion for cheap, hopefully this week.  This I’m excited about.  I’m learning a lot and the self-entertainment and satisfaction of playing a song is fantastic.  I’m thoroughly enjoying myself and though I’m spending a lot of money, it is worth it (again).  Thus me also justifying dropping a couple hundred for what others might see as a non-beneficial activity.

Lastly and the one negative thing I will write about today is the fact that I’m absolutely baby crazy right now.  I always am (really…) but it’s pretty bad right now.  Luckily my guy doesn’t read this so I can mention it here instead of being a grown up and talking to him about it (granted I have before and learned my lesson). I’m not really sure what to do right now. No matter what, I know I can’t have what I want, not for years anyways but that’s not stopping me from hoping I can.  I’m crossing my fingers like a mo-fo this is the month.  I cross those fingers every month, but this one is different.  Okay, so this is where you tell me I’m nutso, and I need to wait, and I’m not married, and it’s wrong if he doesn’t want it now.  Well trust me I know, but that doesn’t mean my feelings about it have suddenly changed.  I honestly have very little control over them.  I’ve hoped and prayed that I could be a normal girl and go through the normal motions of a relationship and that he wouldn’t have to deal with this stuff because it is irrational, I know.  But, that doesn’t make it just happen.  Some months it’s better than others but the theme is that it’s always there, no matter what.  And occasionally it comes out in the strongest of emotions that I wish would go away yet at the same time, I wish I could just get what I want.  I guess this is selfish of me, and though I’m not a selfish person on a daily level (I can say this because it’s realistically kind of bad for me), being that this is such a big thing, I suppose I am being very selfish.  I want it, despite the fact that he thinks it would ruin his life if it happened right now.  And I care about him so much but it doesn’t stop me from wanting it more, just for myself.  I think the reason for that is I have convinced myself it would be okay if he left me if it happened.  Because I want it so much.  My god that’s fucked up.  And maybe I don’t feel like that so much anymore (this is something I told him last December, when we had a flub-ub I don’t tell anyone about) because my love for him has grown from the scary-powerful thing it was even in the beginning.  But when I’m in I-need-babies mode, I definitely consider it. “It’d probably be fine if he left, I’d have a part of him forever anyways.”  But that thought, if I had a shrink, I’m sure would be frowned upon. 

So now I’m guessing you’re thinking that I’ve been trying and doing that crazy girl thing where they plan “accidents” but no.  God no, I would never be able to live with myself if I had a hand in it.  Then none of this would be okay, (is it even now?) but I don’t see why just hoping is such a big problem.  I think that’s okay.  But what I think might be very very wrong.

I went into way more detail than I expected for this blog that humans can actually read but I need to get it out, even if no one reads it.  I feel like I’ve been hiding it since last December, mostly because I can’t talk to him about it.  So it feels good to share it, even if it means nothing to you, and has the possibility of accessing people I don’t want to know this much about me. But I’m sick of hiding, so there.

I Thought I had Posted This.

This is slightly irrelevent now that it's...August. oops  but this is from my other blog (privablog) that I had wanted to transfer.

It's the Little Things

An email I sent to Daniel today regarding what to get me for christmas: Makes me smile.

Mmm Christmas…Really, I’m having a hard time with this, normally I’d be able to think of something I’d want but It’s super difficult. I don’t want things really. The only thing I can really think about that I’d thoroughly enjoy is bazaar I guess, but I’m a bazaar kind of girl. Is there any way you could get the house to yourself for an evening…not all night obviously, people live there… But I’m picturing this:

(look closely) Plus

(starry eyed as usual) Plus

Plus

Plus

I mean

Then you know…see where the night goes……………………………………………….

………………………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

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(this is a bed by the way)

Basically imagine the corniest chick flick ever produced…

Every once in awhile I can be really girly but hey, everyone needs a little romance in their life right?

Let me know what you think, I know I’m a little nuts. J

Tina

Do I Even Need To Write Any Text For This Post?

Didn't think so.