I Normally Love Fridays

But work is totally screwing me today and I'm not a fan of being screwed.  Not really.  At least I'm wearing a dress today, that always helps, just a little bit.  Also, I have a ton of drinks planned this evening, even if I didn't I'm sure it'd end up in the plan regardless.  Beer always helps when I'm pissed off.  Doesn't that mean I should have a beer at work?  Cause it'd probably improve my performance.  Jus' sayin'.  I should drink at work, it's for the best...for the company...

Happy month end to anyone in the financial world, hopefully some of your co-workers showed up at work today, cause that always helps.

So what will I be drinking tonight?
This. For Sure.

Tilburgs Dutch Brown Ale.

 

It's just so damn good.  If you're a beer drinker, light or dark, you have to try it.

Click on it to see the illustration, slightly disturbing but kinda cool?

 

On another note, I'm doing disc golfing tonight, before going to punch pizza for the above mentioned drinks. The boyfriend wants to go to CG but I made him a map of why I don't want to go to CG and why it makes more sense to go to Kaposia.

Makes sense right?

Accordion, My Love.

This is my new lover.  Dorky maybe, I know but she's my favorite.  I have yet to name her.  Let me know if you have ideas, it's gotta be a good one though.

 

It's quite strange how you can actually develop such attachments to instruments.  But it totally just happened.

 

We had a kick ass practice last night.  I Wrote and recorded my first accordion part and I haven't even had it for a week/barely know how to play it yet. It sounds awesome and gives me warm fuzzies!

Now I want these, cause they're white and would go beautifully with my new bay bay.

And an outfit like this:

I'll get there...;)

 

 

Dragon...

My co-worker emailed me “Dude, the day is draggin’. “

So….I made her this.

 

Could This Be The Light?

Recap: I’ve had a very unfortunate chain of events occur over the past week or so, a never ending shit show of crap being thrown at me.  BUT it might finally be coming closer to an end (though I don't have proof of that, I just feel more optimistic)

I decided to make a list because it’s almost impressive.  Sorry I’ve been whiney this last week and a half but I swear, it’s all valid.

Friday - Boyfriend does a very douchie thing, that makes me question whether I’m getting what I want out of my relationship. And I want babies.

Saturday – Douchie thing continues to affect my mood/relationship/state of mind, so a big fight occurs. But I want babies.

Sunday – Avoid boyfriend. And I want babies.

Monday – Continue to avoid boyfriend, he doesn’t really notice. Nothing makes me feel better, but I still want a baby…

Tuesday – Ok day, nothing too eventful except I am obligated to see boyfriend at band practice despite the fact that I don’t want to. Plus, insert end of Tuesday.

Wednesday – 12:00am -I decide to make myself feel better and buy a new phone 5:30pm – Break said phone by slamming it into my trunk (somehow). 8:00pm – cry a bunch because I have to spend the same to replace it despite paying $700 on insurance over the last 7 years (damn you T-Mobile) 9:30 pm – Talk to boyfriend, argue with boyfriend, Feel like I got nowhere with him, go to bed upset.

Thursday – Schedule massage for after work,  then a good thing – I buy a piano accordion from my teacher.  The coolest and debatably the only good thing that happened this week. Go to said massage, now I have bruises and he did NOTHING I asked him to even though I’ve gone to him 5 or 6 times before. Went to boyfriend’s house, balled my eyes out and had a few beers…to numb the week.

Friday – New phone is supposed to arrive after work. Boyfriend is going on terribly timed “boys only” yacht trip even though any other day of the week, I’m “one of the guys” and treated as such. Go home, phone isn’t there, someone decided to ship it to Minneapolis.  Call UPS to get the address changed, won’t get phone till Monday. Cry a little, get bloody nose.  Go out drinking with friends, get bloody nose #2 that lasts over an hour.

Saturday – Wake up light headed, sick to stomach, with a headache in my eyebrows from blood loss… eat food, take nap, go to the casino lose $60 (what was I thinking?)…get bloody nose #3, go home.

Sunday – Wake up with a cold, boyfriend things are finally bettering themselves (I guess he did listen), okay day other than being sick.

Monday – Take the day off cause I’m sick, get stuck babysitting boyfriend’s nephews, check status of new phone, they sent it to Minneapolis anyways (damn you UPS), won’t get phone till Tuesday, okay day other than that, go to bed, get bloody nose #4.

So basically, I need go to the doctor.  Or just sleep for a few weeks till everything blows over.  Things are better(ish) though, at least the man and I are settling back to our usual selves.  That is key.  I have hopes everything will start to improve starting...now. 

Also so many things from the garden!  Yay.
 

And here. I just love this comic.

And this. Is so weird.
 

 

A Little Bit of Paint

Something I worked on today for one of our lenders here at the bank.

It's Friday...this is what I do on Fridays.

The Week I've Been Having

So this is what happens to me when I'm having a terribly bad week.

I bought this at noon yesterday.  Smashed it at 5:30.  Then payed just as much as I spent to replace it.  Awesome.  Yeesh, I just need a little sunshine in my life right now but it's not coming.

So,  I decided I'm going out of town this weekend tomorrow after work.  I don't really care where or even if anyone comes with me, I need to get away.  Get out of this slump I'm in.  I need to think some things over.  Maybe I'll make it a disc golf trip weekend by myself, I'd be completely okay with that.  Some peace and quite, some thinking time, some ukulele playing in an attempt to mend my own soul.  That sounds nice.  Some of the first nice I've felt all week and it hasn't even happened. I need to find my old smiley self, I miss her.

To try and lighten the mood, here.

And here.

I Can't Believe I'm Posting This

Ok, here it goes.  I need some opinions or just some sort of input.  Not like the Internet is necessarily the most ideal place to make myself feel reasonable but I need something and I just can’t talk to people about this in person.  It even freaks me out.

 

What are your thoughts on sperm donors? “ My god she’s crazy!”  I know. 

This is something that came up for me last year in December after an incident I can’t bring myself to write about here.  It was a serious thought then, and possibly an even more serious thought now. 

 Funny thing though, on Modamily, the first thing on the front page is “Single? Want Baby?” And I’m all “YES!” but then I’m like…”Oh, wait, I’m totally not single…”  I mean I’m not married either but still.  So just what do you do when the guy you’re with just doesn’t want it right now?  I guess the answer is wait, I know, but I don’t know if I can (long story). 

 So what then?  It is insane?  Is it something you just don’t do when you’re in a relationship?  I talked about it with him last year when I was going through some things.  Mainly the conversation went like this

“Would you still date me if I was carrying a baby from some unknown dude?” 

“Well, it’d be weird, people would think it was weird, and things would change cause instead of hanging out, you’d be doing mother things a lot.”

 An odd but valid argument, simply proving to me how much he really isn’t ready for, and completely doesn’t want kids right now.

Ok fine but I still want to spend my life with him, he just doesn’t want the responsibility of a kid, I get it…so what if it’s just mine?

 But then I took it a step further and was all “Well what if I pay you and we work up a contract so you don’t have to be responsible for anything unless you want to be and you can be the “unknown dude”, and honestly fella, I mean it.”

And he thought about it, but decided he didn’t want to be that shitty guy that dips out on responsibilities and has a kid running around somewhere that he isn’t caring for.  I get it but it was worth a shot.

 Mmh.  Never though I’d be this honest on here.  Feels good though.