Monday, September 10, 2012

This Time Last Year...

I absolutely love having a blog to look back to especially this year when I was going through some of the most epic events of my life right around now last year.  I like to go check my private blog and pull up today’s date in 2011, see what was going on, what I was bitching about, what I was struggling through.  It’s like reading a brand new blog though, even thought it was my life, I’m so different now, still just as bitchy probably but my speech is different and the issues I was pushing through are so unfamiliar now.  NOT when I reach February though, let me tell you, I’ve basically looped around back to February right now.  More on that…probably in February.

This time last year I had moved out of the house I own with my ex fiancĂ© (who I just saw for an unpleasant minute this weekend) and in with my sister as a temporary fix. At this point in September I was beginning to pay my mortgage AND rent because our renters at the house (and used to be friends) screwed me over.  Crazy to think I have nothing to do with them now when we were supposed to be in each other’s weddings. But that’s life, people come and go. 

This time last year I had no idea what to do about this guy I met, I was crazy about him but he had no idea what he wanted.  Understandably considering I was just engaged two months ago.

This time last year my best friend who I’ve known since 6th grade broke up with me.  Mostly out of the blue she wasn’t herself and we ended our friendship for reasons I didn’t (and still to this day don’t understand). I’m happy to say she is back in my life now, though things are different and I doubt our ability to fully restore the friendship we had.

This time last year I felt empowered, happy to be free from the stresses brought on by my past relationship.  I was happy with myself, something I wish could have lasted longer than it did.

This time last year I started to fall harder for my guy. I might be getting attached, I can't really tell. Some days I feel like everything is perfect just the way it is. "Friends" who hang out an awful lot and...well you know, hang out... I've been great with it. I don't have to worry about him, I can still focus on me, still go out with other people, but still care about him, do nice things for him, enjoy our alone time, all without having any big worries or expectations. I didn't think it would work like that for me. But some days it doesn't.”

But he still had no idea what he wanted, unfortunately that hasn’t really changed a whole lot.

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