I'm having the hardest time not thinking about the bullshit that's going on right now. I'm super stressed out but don't want to be. I need a cheer-me-up, like ice cream or something chock-full of calories and sugar. Yumm. Someone bring me some chocolate.
Man, I'm girly this morning. Moody as all hell, cravings for sweets, I'd even call myself a little bitchy today. But I have every right to be. Everything is falling apart, my yearning for babies is becoming an overpowering issue - enough that I'm now having mind-rattling dreams about the children I've had with boyfriends from my past, now isn't that pleasant? If that's not fucked, I don't know what is.
I hate brain today. I almost didn't get out of bed to go to work, I just feel so numb, dumb and bummed. (I'm so changing the blog title now.)
I will instead bore you and myself with details on things that are distracting enough to keep my mind from all the poop that's happening.
is a picture of my very very good friend Taryn with Jenny Lawson of TheBloggess.com ! She is outstanding, even more so than I had thought possible. I might love her, I probably do, and we've only met once. She is someone to look up to, someone to be proud to relate to, someone to admire more than most that I know. I'm so glad I got to meet her, truly a humbling experience. <3
I have another ukulele lesson today. Music theory lesson is more like it. I apparently don't know shit! I'm actually somewhat of intimidated to go. I have this kid teaching me things I apparently should already know. I got a nice "I thought you said you knew music" last time. Well yeah buddy, I played clarinet for 7 years, in high school, that should tell you right there that I didn't actually pay attention. Though I regret it now. I'm attempting to learn this chord stuff and what on earth is E minor diminished and why does it sound like crap, and what is the I IV and V chord of an Eb major scale. My god I have no clue. But I'm trying. Clarinet was super easy, put your next finger down - k that's the next note on the scale, good job (me thinking "Man I'm good at this and I'm not even trying") that's all you need to know. Learning is good though, I just wish this kid didn't make me feel like such a dumb ass. Thanks kid.
Meanwhile, my concertina (accordion) teacher keeps telling me I'm gifted and moving along faster than most. So what, do I have music smarts or don't I? I guess we'll find out.
Which reminds me I need to learn how to breathe. I used to be fine but now (maybe cause everything sucks, yes lets blame that) I just can't get enough air to hold out my notes for recording. It's beyond frustrating cause I can do it when I'm not recording but I tense up or something and just breathe totally wrong. I don't understand it.
Next on the list - Voice lessons. There's another 30 bucks a week to add to my already expensive classes.
Ok, now here: Link This is something that cheers me up for a few seconds every day or so. Hope it does the same for you. And here is a picture from happier times, oh how I want those times back.