Friday, April 13, 2012

Random Crap Today

Just a thought I had:

I hate that I give a shit about my weight but I'm terrified of it sneaking up on me again.  What happened was a two and a half year relationship, I apparently gained some weight.  Bought new jeans, thought nothing of it cause I'm just small and I'll always be small right?  Well apparently not but I never noticed, never really cared.  Well....till I saw a picture of myself in a two piece suit in the Boundary Waters from last, last year.  Yikes, that's when I noticed.  Anyways, I still didn't think it was too bad but then I went through a giant breakup--ending an engagement two months after buying a house with the guy (way to go me) and boom, I dropped 25 lbs in about 3 weeks, all while drinking a TON.  But in all reality, my old relationship was one filled with TV shows, video games and a lot of doing nothing.  After the break, not only did I have a stomach ulcer for over two months from stress (so food sounded gross), but I also was super active, more than I had been in years.  I took up disc golfing and went almost every day which involves a few miles of walking and slight excursion.  Now, it is eight months later and I've bought some new clothes that don't fall off of me and maintained the same weight the whole time. Until yesterday, I stepped on the scale and apparently I've gone up 4 lbs in a week.  What happened?  I don't know but I'm deathly scared of being unattractive, a new thing I'm having to deal with that I absolutely hate.  I feel shallow though.  It makes me feel so girly and superficial which I wouldn't classify myself as. Thing is, I'm a little too lazy and doubtful of effectiveness to take up a work out of any type.  I've never seen results before so I can't see myself really getting into anything like that.  My solution?  Hope. 

Haha but really, that's all I've got cause I love food.

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